WRITING: AT HOME
Clothes for the Changing Season
Attention All Chocolate Lovers!
Aug 02
Oct 02
Jan/Feb 03
Apr 03
Jun 03
Aug 03
Oct 03
Jan/Feb 04
Jul 04
Oct/Nov 04
Jan 05
Mar/Apr 05
Jun 05
Sep 05
Dec 05
Mar/Apr 06
Jan/Feb 07
Clothes for the Changing Season (Aug 02)
The change of season is upon us, with different clothes now needed for the changing temperature. When was the last time you did a Clothes Audit? Do you know exactly what’s in your wardrobe and drawers? Do you hold onto garments you haven’t worn for years?
A new season is the perfect time to do an Audit. All you need is five minutes (do one drawer or rail at a time - the whole task may seem too daunting) and the commitment to answer three questions honestly:
1. have I worn this item in the past 12 months?
2. do I like it enough to wear it this coming year?
3. how does wearing it make me feel?
Sort your items into three piles:
1. discard immediately
2. hold for another 3 months (to see if it’s worn before the next Audit)
3. items worn regularly
(Clothes to be discarded can be donated to one of the many charities that appreciate receiving used items).
So why have a regular Audit of your wardrobe?
1. it saves time trying to decide whether to wear items that just aren’t suitable!
2. it frees up space for the clothes you enjoy wearing
3. it keeps your bedroom tidy and clutter-free
Why not give it a try? I can vouch for its effectiveness!
“Midlife crisis is that moment when you realize your children and
your clothes are about the same age.”
Bill Tammeus
Attention All Chocolate Lovers! (Oct 02)
8% of the women surveyed at the Lifestyle Expo explained their biggest challenge during the week is preparing evening meals for the family. We solve this dilemma by taking meat out of the freezer in the morning, so it’s thawed when we get home. Then we often take advantage of the great selection of ready-prepared flavour sachets to whip up a stir-fry, pasta dish or casserole. (Frozen veges, fresh onions and carrots are also a great help!).
But since I’m known for my love of chocolate, here’s the quickest, easiest recipe I know for a decedent, yummy dessert:
Stride’s Saucy Pudding
Melt 50g butter in a saucepan that holds at least 5 cups. Sift into the butter 1 cup flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder and 2 tablespoons cocoa.
Add ½ cup sugar, ½ cup milk and 1 teaspoon vanilla essence and beat with a wooden spoon until combined. Pour into a greased 4-cup capacity ovenproof dish.
Mix ½ cup brown sugar and 1 tablespoon cocoa together. Sprinkle over batter in dish. Pour 1½ cups boiling water over the back of a spoon onto surface of pudding.
Bake at 180oC for 35 to 40 minutes or until the pudding doesn’t stick to a knife when inserted.
Dust with icing sugar (optional). Let me know if you enjoy it!
“The
discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the
discovery of a star.”
Anthelme
Brillat-Savarin
A Fresh Look at the Ordinary (Jan/Feb 03)
We had Swiss friends stay with us last month. Just as they had done for us in Switzerland, we played host – showing them around and explaining things. Great fun!
But we didn’t know how to fill their last afternoon with us. We racked our brains for all the tourist attractions and interesting sights around town, yet couldn’t come up with one thing that would fit the timeframe (and the low-energy levels). Then they asked if we’d mind taking them… to a home improvement store!
When was the last time you looked at ordinary things from a different perspective? That’s what we did that afternoon with our friends. The way Kiwis build houses is completely different to the Swiss way, so watching them quietly browse the hardware isles was fascinating. They compared prices, marvelled at construction methods and questioned the purpose of items.
Even in everyday situations and familiar routines, there are opportunities to experience wonder and delight. We can sometimes forget how amazing life really is, but it only takes an instant to refresh our memory.
“I have
always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one
more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the
morning.”
J.B.
Priestley
Feeling Comfortable? (Apr 03)
Comfort Zone
Author unknown
I used to have a comfort zone, where I knew I couldn’t fail.
The same four walls and busy work were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.
I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like diamonds, cars and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone,
But deep inside I longed for some victory of my own.
I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside to let the change begin!
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye, and closed and locked the door.
If you are in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners at one time were filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dream come true.
Greet your future with a smile; success is there for you.
“Twenty
years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do
than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from
the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
Discover.”
Mark Twain
Where Do You Live? (Jun 03)
I heard an interesting definition for 'house' the other day...
"A house is where people store their stuff, while they are at work earning money to buy more stuff."
How much stuff have you got in your house? Even neat-as-a-pin places can become long-term storage facilities for no-longer-needed articles. Have you ever asked yourself "why on earth did I buy this thing!"?.
I've also seen the figures of what some folk pay for a house and all the stuff in it, related to the number of hours they actually spend in the house! Pretty scary... and seemingly pointless.
So is your home / flat / apartment a castle, a tranquil oasis, a family growth centre, a place just to rest your head, or for stuff-storage?
"What is the use of a
house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?"
Henry David Thoreau
Where's Your Hide-out? (Aug 03)
Your days are busy, the weeks fly past and no sooner than your head hits the pillow, the alarm goes off...
Do you have an 'escape place'?
Where do you go for a moment (or longer) of peace and quiet? Somewhere to gather your thoughts, catch your breath, refill your soul...
Is it inside or outside? A comfy armchair, a favourite walking track or the back garden? Do you need to be alone, or does energy come by talking to others? Is there a view, or pictures, or music, or no sound at all?
If your computer is not in this refuge, try imagining yourself there now. Draw in a deep, deep breath, and as you exhale, let your shoulders drop, neck relax, and smile.
And say a wee mental 'thank you' for having such a special place of your own.
Being grateful for such small things helps put busy days and mini-disasters into perspective....
"Feeling gratitude and
not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."
William Arthur Ward
Christmas is Coming! (Oct 03)
Stride's Top 5 Christmas Shopping Tips
1. Make a list.
No impulse buying - you don't want your gift to reflect no thought went into it. Start thinking now!
2. Be creative.
And I don't mean getting out the paper, scissors and glue - unless art is your thing... but do think past the traditional socks, toiletries and biscuit assortments!
What about movie tickets, a hug, sports equipment, pamper pack (massage, facial, manicure...), decadent chocolate sauce, zesty barbeque or salad dressings, plants, a magazine subscription, music, tandem parachute jump, a great book, dinner at your place...
The possibilities are endless - and aren't restricted to the mall.
3. Create a game-plan.
Rather than the cringe-creating word 'budget', a game-plan puts you in control of your wallet/purse.
Set the rules: how much can I spend per person? When is the game over? Will I be yellow-carded if I spend too much, and what's the penalty? How will I reward myself for winning (finishing on time, with money spare)?
4. Maintain 'calm' in the busy-ness.
The shops will be busy (unless you finish your shopping in the next couple of weeks!) so pick your moment to enter the fray. Plan to hit the mall as soon as it opens, or just before it closes - avoid lunch time or early afternoon. Know exactly which shops to go to (remember your list!) and resist the temptation to 'browse'.
5. Understand 'spaving'.
We've all done it - entered the shop without intending to hand over our cash, but "it was on special, so I had to buy it".
This is how we spave. SPending money to sAVE money. "I spent $500 but saved $200" (but hadn't intended to spend any)!
Don't get suckered in! It's only a bargain if you intended to buy it anyway, otherwise it's just money wasted.
"A good conscience is a
continual Christmas".
Benjamin Franklin
Redecorated? (Jan/Feb 04)
Did you enjoy your annual redecorating?
It may have been next to the phone, in the kitchen or by your desk. The toilet may even have a new one! In fact, there might be several crisp, clean versions around the house or in the garage...
Calendars.
Practical, pretty, pricey or presents; we've all got one.
What kind of calendar do you have on your wall? Is it large, with plenty of room to write appointments, events and birthdays?
Is it colourful, with photos of places you've been or would like to visit? Are the images factual, funny or fiction?
Next to our phone in the kitchen - for the second year running - is a picture of a scrumptious chocolate concoction. Each month has a different picture and recipe to try. M-mmmm!
But while your calendar may have changed, are the activities written on it any different? Or are you living a year very similar to the last one?
Isn't it time to start doing some of those things you've always wanted to do? Those 'I'll get round to them one day' hobbies, trips or classes? Or what about that overflowing bookshelf?
Is your calendar just marking time, laughing at you every month you turn the page, wondering where the weeks went?
If you don't take a little step towards your dreams this year, when will you?
"Everything starts as somebody's daydream."
Larry Niven
Anagrams and More (Jul 04)
Anagrams are fun. When the letters in a word or sentence can be rearranged to form other words, that's an anagram.
I'm amazed at how anyone works them out, but there are even websites now that calculate them automatically for you.
See what can be created from 'Kiwi Stride'?
I risked wit (appropriate for some of the Stride humour!)
Tired kiwis (at the end of a fun-filled day)
Ski it weird (for all the snow-lovers out there!)
--//--
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
--//--
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
--//--
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
--//--
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
"You cannot hold back a good laugh any more than you can the tide. Both are forces of nature."
William Rotsler
The Little Things (Oct/Nov 04)
One of the things I enjoy most about traveling (apart from seeing new sights and meeting new people) is having somewhere called 'home' to return to.
A holiday away may be relaxing but there's nothing like climbing into your own bed, being met by the familiar feel of your sheets and sinking into your own comfy pillow.
A work trip may be a break from your usual routine, but returning to your normal shower pressure and favourite breakfast cereal helps remind you 'all is well in the world'.
What do you cherish about your home? Whether you own it, rent it or share it, what are the objects, smells, tastes or touches that you enjoy? Sunshine in the garden? A painting? The old chair your grandmother passed on to you? Candles in the bathroom?
As the end-of-year rushes past, don't forget to say a quiet 'thanks' for the little things that make your house a home.
"Where is home?
Home is where the heart can laugh
without shyness. Home is where the heart's tears
can dry
at their own pace."
Vernon G. Baker
Your Own Back Yard (Jan 05)
I've just caught some performances of Christchurch's World Buskers Festival. I love watching the different street acts as they try to amuse, shock or amaze.
To have traveled the globe to see such a line-up would have cost me a small fortune. However, with a pocket of coins and a spare afternoon, I was able to stand in awe at the American jugglers, share a joke with the Japanese mimes and tap my toes to the Canadian percussionists.
When planning a holiday we get all excited at the prospect of visiting new places and seeing new things. Yet how often do we miss the daring adventures in our own back yard?
What unique activities are in your town which you'd recommend visiting friends go see? When was the last time you tagged along too?
It's easy to get wrapped up in our busy-ness, shelving plans to see a show, visit the botanical gardens or spend time at the beach. Are you making the most of close-to-home facilities and events?
"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
Long-Haul Hell? (Mar/Apr 05)
Can you feel 'at home' anywhere?
I'm a self-confessed people-watcher. I love being in a cafe, airport, hotel or queue and observing the behaviour of other people.
Have you noticed how often people don't seem at ease with their surroundings? They pace, fidget, fret or complain - nothing is ever satisfactory.
A long-haul flight is a classic example. Stuck in one seat for over eight hours? Heaven forbid!
Yet would these unsettled travelers think twice about missing a break at work to stay longer perched in front of their computers? Or how about an extended video-night on the couch?
The difference is their mindset. It's a choice available to all of us to decide to feel 'at home', to feel at peace and relaxed with our surroundings.
When do you feel most 'at home'? Do you have a mental trigger to access or duplicate the feeling?
Life seems less arduous when you go-with-the-flow 'at home'!
"I endeavour to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content with what cannot be mended and patient when there be no redress."
Elizabeth Montagu
Better Questions (Jun 05)
Are you a parent? Do you ask your children the familiar "How was school today?" question?
Do you feel frustrated at the replies you invariably get: "<grunt>", "Fine" or "<silence>"? Want a conversation instead?
Step One: do something different. If you always ask the same dumb question, you'll always get the same simple answer.
Step Two: get creative. How about "What was the most fun thing that happened today?" or "What made you laugh the most today?" Get them thinking about the brighter side of life!
Step Three: check with how they're coping with stuff. Try a "What was the most challenging thing that happened today?" or "What was the curliest question you were asked in class today?"
Step Four: shut it. Don't try to fix, solve or belittle a problem or challenge. Let them express it then give them space to engage brain and ponder it themselves. Often just talking out loud gives them time to figure out their own solution. So... attention on, but lips shut!
Step Five: think back to when you were their age - remember how important a new lunchbox, or date for the weekend was? Practice listening from their point of view, and reserving judgement.
Step Six: repeat 2 to 5, repeat 2 to 5, repeat 2 to 5. I know one family where the children actively search out something new or interesting on the way home because they know Mum is going to ask "What did you discover today?"
Improving the quality of your questions increases the quality of the answers you receive. Try it!
"Having a young child explain something exciting he has seen is the finest example of communication you will ever hear or see."
Bob Talbert
The Box in the Corner (Sep 05)
How many TVs have you got?
I'm not asking because it's election time here in New Zealand and every channel you turn to has some political message on...
I'm not curious as to the size of the screen, whether it's plasma or LCD or projector or even black and white...
I don't even want to know where in the house you have it - lounge, family room, bedroom, computer room...
I'm interested in the number of TVs in your house because I've been meeting parents who mention they sense a distance between them and their children.
Invariably, upon further listening, I discover there are at least two, if not more, televisions in the house. What difference does this make? Plenty.
Remember the days of one-TV-per-house? You had to negotiate what to watch. You discussed with everyone your preferences and bargained to see your favourites. If you didn't feel like viewing the programmes on offer you found something else to do - like talking, reading, playing games, or (gasp!) going outside.
Could there be a correlation between the lack of communication within a family and the number of TVs in the house? I can't help but wonder how lonely a child feels spending the evening in their room watching their own TV when the rest of the family is doing something else...
When was the last time you all sat down to dinner together? I mean at the table, not on the couch with plates balanced on your lap! And even if you were all at the table, was the TV on in the background?
Relationships aren't built in an instant, and open communication is developed over time - it's a question of quantity, not perceived quality.
What would be the worst thing to happen if you stopped watching TV for a week? Not being able to discuss the current sitcom hit with colleagues? Actually having to get off the couch? Would 'what shall I do now?' hurt your brain?
What could be the best thing to happen? Reading that novel you've been afraid to start for 'when will I finish it'? Realising that evenings can be full of sunsets, visits to friends or sport? Getting a better sleep since you're not up late watching infomercials?
Hmmmm... TV-free (or even a reduction). Are you up for the challenge?
"Isn't it strange that we talk least about the things we think about most!"
Charles A. Lindbergh
Taking it Slow (Dec 05)
Santa has been - there's gifts galore,
and people streaming through the door.
A Christmas flurry of exchange,
With one small part I do find strange.
And that is how we soon lose track,
Of who gave what gift in our sack.
The kids all rush from box to bow,
And line the treats up in a row.
But ask them if they "Know from who?"
They often shrug and say "Don't you?"
How can we let them know the thought,
Behind the gift we have just bought?
It's simple really! Yes, it's true...
Give them the space to say "Thank you!"
S.F.
"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy."
George H Lorimer
Winter-Cleaning? (Mar/Apr 06)
I hadn't realised how much of a distraction it was, until it wasn't there any more.
For several weeks (or was that months?) I returned to the office after a workshop, presentation, conference or meeting and placed the materials I'd used in a tidy spot, which often included the floor.
"I'll put that away properly soon," I thought. "Right after I send this email / return that phone call / create this handout."
Then the next project would reach the top of the schedule, and a scramble through the non-filed materials to find necessary stuff wasted time and brain power.
Finally the day came when time was put aside to 'do the filing'. As it turned out just clearing the floor took longer than expected, but even doing that small part produced a huge change. Walking into the room was a pleasure, and I felt more organised and in control.
What's weighing heavy on your mind, and needs a bit of winter-time spring-cleaning? Go on... clear that clutter!
"Sometimes you earn more doing the jobs that pay nothing."
Todd Ruthman
How Do You Respect? (Jan/Feb 07)
This is an exercise for the bathroom...
Each day, as you're brushing your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror. Gaze straight into your eyes and ask yourself:
"How do I respect myself?"
What does respect look like for you? Being healthy and looking after your body? Thinking, speaking and acting honestly and true? Demonstrating kindness and compassion?
Respect is a word that we so rarely hear in a positive sense. Usually it's "They have no respect for me / my things / my time" It's a shame such a powerful word is used this way.
We're brought up to respect other people and their property - that's the most common answer when I ask parents what respect means to them. But many times they have great difficulty describing how they respect themselves (let alone their children!).
So try this in-the-mirror exercise. It may be weird to start with, but I assure you, keeping at it and defining what your Respect looks like, is a very, very empowering thing!
"Self-respect is the
fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity
grows with the ability to say no to oneself."
Abraham J. Heschel
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